My Heart Breaks

My heart breaks. My heart breaks as I watch the tears roll down my Veteran’s face. I watch the hurt and anger grow. I watch as he sees the very country he swore to serve and protect fall apart from the inside out. Then I wonder how many other Veterans feel the same pain, anger, frustration, and rage?


I think about all the times that they missed being at home while fighting for this country. All the birthdays, celebrations, hugs, and kisses from their children. I think about the things they brought back with them, not souvenirs that can be displayed like those from a trip, but memories that will haunt them forever. These memories are more that just the bombs going off. They are more than just the lives they saw taken. They are more than the lives lost since their return. They were orders that were carried out because they were given to them. It was not their place to question them and if they did, they would never have been given an answer, other than just do it. Their actions changed lives and the world. Their actions changed history.


They came home and realized they had given so much and lost so much. Some of our Veterans lost their families, not like in a terrible car accident, but their families were gone. They had moved on. They could not deal with the separation and loneliness, so they just left. Taking with them the birthdays, anniversaries, first days of school, hugs, and kisses that they will never get back. Many lost parts of who they were, some physical and some mental. Pieces of them remained on foreign soil. They were made to fell like less of a person because people did not understand what they had seen and been through. They found that simple things like going to the store or going out to dinner were difficult and caused them fear and panic at times. They lost their ability to trust completely.

Now our country is unraveling, and our Veterans see it. They cannot fight it. They cannot stop it. They just sit back and watch. They have no control over it.


When the COVID pandemic started, free citizens that had a choice were forced to stay in their homes. We were no longer allowed to congregate and have face to face conversations. The very same tactics that are used to interrogate people. Separate them, so they cannot share what is going on. Information that we were given was inaccurate. The numbers were incorrect. The test flawed. Fear was instilled on millions and millions of Americans. The faces of every man, woman and child were now hidden behind masks. People were no longer individuals, but we all looked alike. Not much different than the women many of them saw in foreign countries. They could no longer see the faces of their potential enemies.

Businesses quickly shutdown and Americans were told they were no longer essential. Basic items like toilet paper, food and milk were scarce on grocery store shelf, yet the images of cows being killed, and crops being burned were on the news. Family businesses were gone, and big business had changed. Care manufactures were no longer producing automobiles, but ventilators and personal protective gear. Families were at risk of loosing everything until the Federal Government stepped in and gave them assistance. Hardworking, middle American no longer existed. They were now relying on government handouts and food banks to feed their families.


As people contracted COVID they were taken into hospitals, where they were alone. They had no contact with the world other than the healthcare workers who took care of them. These workers did not have a face, or even provide human touch, they were in masks and gowns. Faceless people taking care of people who became no more than a number or a statistic. As the death toll started to rise so did the number of refrigerator trucks that lined the streets of major cities, waiting for the next faceless body to be tossed in. These images filled our homes through the TV screens and social media. Images of trucks filled with bodies that were reminiscent of those used in World War II by the Nazis at the concentration camps. In many cases the families were not even given a body to burry as the victims were cremated and their ashes were given to grief-stricken family members, who could not even have a funeral.


Now it has come out that the numbers we were given to control us may not even be real. People who died in auto accidents that tested positive for COVID had COVID listed as the cause of death on their death certificates. There have been many testing facilities that have been questioned about the accuracy of their positive test results. The symptoms that were initially listed have now changed, to include loss of taste or smell.


During this time of isolation this country has turned into a nation full of civil unrest. Riots in the streets, burning of businesses, destruction of private property now flood the evening news. Hate is filling our hearts and minds. Americans are protesting by burning the American Flag and kneeling for the National Anthem. We are dividing this nation based on color, sexual orientation, and religious beliefs instead of coming together as the United States of America. We are letting the actions of a few divide us as a nation. We are falling apart from the inside out.


We have become a nation that looks and feels remarkably similar to the ones that our veterans deployed to. The countries that they were told they were defending the United States from so this did not happen on our soil. Countries where women covered their faces and were just faceless members of a crowd. Places where hate ran wild. Countries where people burned American Flags in the streets and America was hated. Countries where businesses were burned, and people’s homes were destroyed. Places were the masses waited in line for food to be handed out to them. Places where curfews were imposed, and social gatherings disbursed. The images that our veterans saw are now here in our country. They are more and more becoming the accepted normal. There are no troops to stop this. There are no orders to put an end to this.


So today my heart break for my Veteran. My heart breaks for the many others who have served our Great Country. My heart breaks for those who have lost loved ones defending our nation. My heart may be breaking but love for my Veteran and all the other veterans and those still serving is stronger than ever. In the words of Lee Greenwood, “God Bless The USA”.

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